GUIDELINES FOR SUCCESSFUL PARENTING FOR FAMILIES IN TRANSITION

Your main concern is the raising of your child. Make a conscious decision that you want what is in the best interests of your child.

Be business-like with the other parent; test all of your own behavior against this standard: Was I business-like? Did I conform to these guidelines?

Test the other parent's behavior not by how you feel; test by the same standard: Was the other parent's behavior business-like? Did it conform to these guidelines?

Respect your child's relationship with the other parent. Your children did not divorce either parent; don't force them to, and do encourage them to get over any feelings of estrangement from the other parent.

Make appointments to talk about business. Except for emergencies, call only during business hours or agreed upon times; always ask if the timing is convenient, and if not, make an appointment for a time that is.

Be polite; do not use bad language or call names. Do not try to conduct business under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If you feel yourself becoming angry or frustrated, say so and agree to resume the conversation at a later time.Give the benefit of the doubt as to behavior as you would a stranger. Do not assume anything without checking it out thoroughly.

Do not expect approval from the other parent; get your own personal and emotional needs met elsewhere. On the other hand, if you are able to acknowledge something positive in word or deed of the other parent, do not withhold it. The rewards of expressing appreciation, no matter how small, is great incentive to the other parent to cooperate.

Make all agreements explicit and follow up with written confirmation when possible (if need be, maintain your own written log). Be clear and complete in communications. Communicate directly; DO NOT ask the children to do your business for you.

Keep agreements; do not break appointments; carry through on what you promised. If you can't promise something, make it clear that you can't and say why.

Courtesy of
Project Shalom
(443) 846-4981 or projectshalom1@aol.com

Home   Workshop Sampler   Anger Management    Divorce Resources   Lesson Plans  Stories and Storytelling  Jewish Committee on Scouting  Master Storyteller- Rachmiel Tobesman