Parenting Resources
It is extremely hard to know what is the best course of action to take in what seems to be helpless circumstances. However, we have learned some pitfalls to avoid and some long-range thinking and planning that help.
Angry Discussion |
How to discuss anger with children |
Angry Masks |
A fun activity to with children to work out anger |
Anger Guidelines |
When a Parent is Angry, Hostile, and Uncooperative |
Angry Bread |
A fun way of discussing and working out anger |
Anger is so often part of parenting and its effects upon children is devastating. The frustration, feeling helpless, being afraid often overwhelm a child so that they don't know "what's wrong" or how to tell parents what "hurts."Parents become frustrated because they can't comfort their children and don't know how to talk to their children. Instead of looking for reasons to blame someone, take a moment and learn how to speak to your children.

Lewis Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland, once called stories love gifts. Children of divorce and separation need much love from both parents. Stories provide a mode for parents and children to strengthen relationship.
Storytelling is a sharing experience. When a parent tells a story, they show a willingness to be vulnerable, to share ideas and feelings. That kind of sensitivity invites children to listen with open minds and hearts. Enjoying a story together creates a common experience. Storytelling, properly done creates a relaxed, restful feeling. It establishes a very special relationship between parent and child.
These stories from The Magic Glasses storybook are powerful and are a great aid in helping children understand separation and divorce
"I have to catch a dragon and I don't know how to do it," replied the prince. "I'm not powerful or smart enough. I guess I'll just stay here on this bed forever, because I don't know what to do.."
Fear, anger, confusion and divorce forces many children to grow up too quickly as they cope with many adult issues. Deep inside each child has the strength to capture their dragons.
The queen told the little prince that if he would only wear magic glasses she had, he would feel better,…. letting him know that his eyes needed to be protected from the war and demanding that he wear them at all times. However, when the prince went around to the king, the king would throw away those glasses saying that his glasses could protect the prince, ….in order to see better and get rid of his sadness.
So often children become caught up in the anger and frustration of their parents They see the world through the glasses their parents give them. The children can take off those glasses and tell their parent they only want their love, not the anger.
Today’s society so prides itself on its ability to overcomediversity that it often fails to recognize or acknowledge the unique practices and methods of funeral and grieving practices. In this way, the general culture also fails to support grief; the very process which helps people cope and grow throughthe despair of loss.
In such a culture, every child and adolescent is at risk to be negatively affected by the stress of an accumulation of ungrieved losses; or by a particular significant loss at various times across his or her life span. Skills, knowledge, attitudes, feelings (or lack of them), and individual and environmental circumstances come together in unique and varied ways; influencing the number or degree of risks to any given young person.
Children experiencing loss and death are more at risk than adults because they lack both control and competency. They experience the pain of loss without having mastered attitudes and skills to help them.
Every child needs and opportunity for A Time to Mourn, A Time to Comfort. When someone a child is close to or loves dies, life can seem very confusing for a while. People have many customs which help us deal with our feelings about and death. In some communities clothes are cut, in other communities a black ribbon is cut as a sign of mourning. The cut stands for the loss in the family and all people.
With a lot of people coming in and out of the house being sad and very serious, sometimes, children don't know what to do and feel kind of left out or strange. Some children who felt close to the person who has died miss them a lot, and aren't sure how to handle those feelings. Other children didn't know the person who has died so well, and feel weird not feeling as sad as everyone else there.
Visit the A Time to Mourn, A Time to Comfort to explore activities, stories and explanations help children to understand their feelings and the grieving process.
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